Fine, Truly Fine

You know it when you have one of those days. Before, you were languishing in the doldrums of "sorta okay" and "grand". Nothing too drastically out of place. Except for the persistent doubts about "do I truly know what I'm doing?" and "am I really helping anybody?"

One of the major perils of being a psychologist, I guess any similar health profession, is the self-questioning, the self-doubt. And the comparing. Even when you know the TV and the literary and the memoir psychologists don't reflect the reality of the day in, day out drudgery that can be your professional life, it's still hard to convince yourself a lot of the times that somebody else, anybody else, couldn't do a heck of a lot better.

And even though you know, after almost 15 years doing this, that this is just part of the rhythm of the ups and downs of what you do, you still get caught up in it.

People come to you in pain, expecting that you have all the answers, and get pissed or sad or hopeless when you don't spoon feed the miracle cure to them. You know this is how things work. You know it.

Then, when you least expect it, you have that day. When all the floundering you've been doing, trying to figure out what the heck your next step is, resolves into something resembling clarity and you remember that there actually is some substance to the facade you play out every day. The day that client walks in and you have that session where, even though you're only at the start of things, magic happens. You click. He or she connects. You're riding the flow of the emotional energy between you and you can almost see them lifted up. And it's a beautiful thing - enlightening, emotional, spiritual even.

That was today. It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last, but I needed it... to remind me why I do this and that it's okay to keep on doing this. Today was beautiful even in the midst of its flaws. A fine blessing indeed.

Great quote of the day

... from this Op-Ed article in the New York Times, titled "You Be Obama", about how he's handling the political wrangle over health care reform.

You are daunted by the challenges in front of you until you remember that by some great act of fortune, you happen to be Barack Obama. This calms you down.

Heehee, love it! :-)


*Thanks to cousin Sekou for pointing this one out.

Stir Crazy and Blocked

10 weeks. Ten weeks! That's how long it's been since I last had internet access at home. I'm shocked (and appalled) every time I actually try to comprehend the reality of it. Who in their right mind, having enjoyed the "benefits" of technology, would willingly put themselves in the position of being cut off from such a big part of their world?

Not me!! All I wanted to do was move to a (geographically and economically) better apartment. Who knew I would get caught up in the toils of what really feels like a third world telephony infrastructure?! Who knew I would become, among my friends and acquaintances, the poster-girl for the perils of "the Irish way" of doing things?

Finally today, after multiple false starts and outright misinformation from the various phone/broadband companies over the last several weeks, I found the one, single, discrete, UNO technical support person apparently in all Ireland who figured out where they had gone wrong and helped me find my way into the datastream again.

So, thank you Mr. Technical Support Man at Imagine! Thank you for actually returning my call after going off to figure out what the problem was. (The last guy never did). Thank you for picking up on the incomprehensible error your company had made. Thank you for saving my sanity!!

Now, if you could just help me recall all the wonderful ideas I had for posts to this blog over the past 2 months, I'd really appreciate it.